about love

about love

i love being in love. i am a lover by essence, i love making love, sharing love, expressing love. and for years, i burnt myself with what i thought was love.
falling in love with every person i felt attracted to and who shown me a little bit of interested. throwing myself into meaningless connections that i gave meaning to. offering my body, my Eros, my Power - and through this, my heart - craving for this deep feeling of connection. sx was never the goal, it was a way to get there.


for years i have been mistaken desire for love. and love for attachment.
i was consuming love as if it was a limited ressource, looking for it, asking to be met, demanding unconditionnal love, care and presence - where i wasn’t able to give myself nor anyone else that love, care and presence.
i was putting my need for connection over my boundaries.

in the past years, i started healing. i closed up and limited my connections to learn what love really is. i put boundaries, limits. conditions to opening up, to having sx, to connect. and i learnt to slow things down.

it was necessary, for me, in order to realize what gifts i have to offer. it was necessary to know my value, and redefine my integrity. to create grounded and safer bounds where i could express my whole heart, Eros, and be met.

i am slowly opening again. from a healed and grounded heart. from a place of love without attachement nor expectations. from a trauma-free space, where i can have clear boundaries and respect myself in connections. and with the awareness that the more I throw my heart, the deeper i am ready loose.

it’s the hardest thing. to know the depth of what you can loose. To be aware of the extend ogmf what could be, and won’t be. and still chose love.

i now can love, and feel my Eros, and still be present. i can love and not do anything about it. i can desire, and be still. stay with it.

abd to my greater surprise, i am exploring non-attachment. knowing deeply that everything is a choice. that what needs to be will be. that love & desire don’t require hooks nor expectations to be.

- to my beloved teacher - by being fully you and triggering the shit ot of me - while loving me still.